I’m beginning to regret not having completed Time & Space Relocati
on at the academy. Who knew simply having a time travel device, a Time Traveller does not make? I can’t seem to anticipate the variables when travelling through both Time and Space. But one cannot simply give up in the face of adversity, so I continue to experiment. My last attempt had me in the backwaters of Time, the locals still called the place Earth. It never ceases to amaze me how the standard 6 Foot, bi-pedal, pink fleshed, Homo-Erectus can refuse to evolve any further no matter how much time it’s presented.
With no immediate danger in sight I chose to visit the nearest delicatessen. I haggled with a particularly squat vendor to no avail and was surprised when I revealed my Victorious Mongoose, that she simply laughed. “You gon’ shoot me with that “Ray” Gun, are ya’?”. The way she said “Ray” implied a disbelief, as did the expression on her face when I removed her left hand. I took a couple of fruits and made myself scarce in a carriage park, where I saw something wholly unsettling. The maker of my Victorious Mongoose, Dr. Grordborts, was having an exhibition in a small lot, behind a delicatessen, a handful of millennia before the Venusian uprising.
Upon crossing the threshold into the exhibit, my Time Travel device became warm and started to vibrate. This exhibit did not belong here in this time and space, and I can only assume some sort of singularity had mirrored it onto this Time-Stream. I ventured further into the exhibition and found a vast array of sculptures, portraiture, and relics from the Vaults of Dr. Grordborts. Such open and transparent behaviour is unprecedented from Dr. Grordborts, who steep all bar the silliest and oldest of their forays into science with the deepest of mystery. Lord Cockswain dominated the exhibit, which focused on his Venusian Safaris, but there were a few familiar faces in the portraits. One of which was Sturt Rambling, a huge bulk of a man with seemingly no neck and a bizarre hue to his calloused skin. The portrait did not do his ultimately foul appearance justice but the plaque below did reveal a penchant for Vanilla oil, explaining the smell he left after our previous altercation. My own was one of the portraits on display and I must give the artists, One Greg Broadmore & Stardog, credit for capturing the delicacy of my nose. It is a surreal experience, reading about oneself in a plaque below a painting of oneself, but such peculiarities are to be expected in the realms of Time Travel and I find it best to simply appreciate the effort.
A Statue of Metal Men sent shivers down my spine. Had anyone indigenous to this time known exactly what these vile Automatons were capable of there would have been far fewer smiles in the room. Display cases offered examples of Dr. Grordborts various instruments of death and discomfort, most of which were far too cumbersome for a Brigand such as myself. But there was one thing I lusted over more than any, the Saboteur 66! Every other Time-Stream I’ve visited either knew nothing about it, or simply knew it as “The S-type” but here it was being offered for sale to the primitive inhabitants of an Earth long in the past. Before leaving I peered into a Time Capsule which showed an emotional scene of Lord Cockswain defending The Moon Mistress in the Jungles of Venus.
A loud ding emanated from my Time Travel device as I crossed the threshold back to the carriage park, and upon inspection it indicated a deciphered understanding of the current situation. It had deduced that I had arrived on this Earth on the Second of February and the rift between Times would remain open for a further twenty six days. I am resolved to acquire a Saboteur 66 and now have a time frame within which to do it. I have made camp on the roof of the exhibit, a building called “The Colombo” but I fear I may need to take my time. I didn’t anticipate this and have been too bold in this Time-Stream. I’m almost certain the Exhibitionists have heard of the Squat shopkeepers misfortune and will ramp up security to suit.
– Ms. M. Ralt II (Time Traveller)
– Jolly John Arnold